Being in a relationship with a people pleaser can feel surprisingly easy at first. They are often thoughtful, attentive and very good at noticing what other people need. They tend to be flexible, rarely make a fuss and often adapt quickly to keep things running smoothly. From the outside, this can look like a particularly […]
Authentic Relationships
Self-Abnegation: When Caring for Others Means Abandoning Yourself
There is a particular kind of people pleasing that doesn’t look like people pleasing at all. It looks like being easy-going. You don’t choose the restaurant because you genuinely don’t mind. You don’t mention the comment that hurt you because you don’t want to make a big deal out of it. You don’t ask your […]
Why Do I Keep Repeating the Same Relationship Patterns?
If you’ve ever reached the end of a relationship thinking, How did I end up here again?, you’re not alone. Perhaps the people you’ve dated have been completely different. One was affectionate but emotionally inconsistent. Another struggled with commitment. Someone else seemed kind, dependable and emotionally available, yet somehow you still found yourself feeling anxious, […]
If You’re a People Pleaser Parent, This Is How It’s Affecting Your Children (Even When You’re Trying Your Best)
You became a people pleaser because somewhere along the way, you learned that keeping the peace was your job. Maybe it was a parent whose moods ran the household. Maybe it was a relationship that taught you that having needs was dangerous. Maybe you can’t even pinpoint a single moment — it just became who […]
How to Stop Being a People Pleaser: The Complete Guide
How do you stop being a people pleaser? Stopping people pleasing starts with learning to notice when you are automatically prioritising someone else’s comfort over your own needs. Instead of trying to change everything at once, begin by interrupting the pattern in small, manageable situations. To stop being a people pleaser: Pause before automatically saying […]