Online CBT Therapy & Confidence Coaching for People-Pleasers
About Ludovica Colella | People-Pleasing Therapist & Confidence Coach
About Ludovica Colella | People-Pleasing Therapist & Confidence Coach
I’m Ludovica Colella, a therapist and confidence coach specialising in people-pleasing, boundaries, self-worth, overthinking and relationship patterns.
My work is for people who are tired of putting everyone else first, questioning themselves, struggling to say no, or feeling responsible for other people’s emotions.
I help you understand where these patterns come from and, more importantly, how to change them — so you can build healthier boundaries, trust yourself, communicate more confidently and create relationships in which you don’t have to abandon yourself to feel loved or accepted.
My approach is informed by my training in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), clinical psychology, psychodynamic theory and coaching. This allows me to look not only at the thoughts and behaviours keeping a pattern going today, but also at the beliefs, emotional experiences and relationship dynamics that may sit underneath it.
Why I Specialise in People-Pleasing
People-pleasing can look like kindness from the outside. But when saying yes comes from fear, guilt or anxiety, it can gradually disconnect you from your own needs, preferences and identity.
You may find yourself overthinking conversations, avoiding conflict, needing reassurance, feeling guilty when you set a boundary, or constantly wondering whether someone is upset with you.
You might know intellectually that you should say no — yet still feel an overwhelming urge to keep the peace. This is why my work goes beyond simply teaching you to “be more confident.”
We explore the thoughts, beliefs, emotional patterns and relationship experiences that make people-pleasing feel necessary in the first place. From there, we work on practical changes: setting boundaries, tolerating guilt and discomfort, communicating assertively, reducing overthinking and developing greater trust in yourself.
The aim isn’t to make you less caring.It’s to help you care about other people without disappearing from your own life.
Professional Experience
My journey into psychology began in Italy, where I studied Psychological Sciences at the University of Naples Federico II.
I later continued my education in the UK, studying Psychodynamic Theory at Brunel University London and completing postgraduate professional training in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy at the University of Hertfordshire.
I also hold an MSc in Clinical Psychology from eCampus University in Italy and a Certificate in Life, Sport & Business Coaching from Prometeo Coaching.
I began my professional career within London’s NHS before developing my private practice and specialising increasingly in the psychological and behavioural patterns behind people-pleasing, low self-worth, difficulties with boundaries and relationship anxiety.
Today, my work brings together psychological knowledge, CBT-informed interventions and practical coaching strategies to help clients understand themselves more deeply while making tangible changes in their everyday lives.
What does psychology actually tell us about people pleasing?
People pleasing is everywhere in popular psychology — but the research is more complex, and more interesting, than many of the explanations we see online.
In my latest LuCole Research Review, I look at decades of psychological research on self-silencing, rejection sensitivity, reassurance seeking, perfectionism, boundaries and assertiveness to explore what the evidence can — and cannot — tell us about people pleasing.
Explore the research The Psychology
of People Pleasing
Approval · Self-Silencing
Boundaries · Putting Others First
Press & Publications
My psychological insights and commentary have been featured in national and international media, including Forbes, Newsweek, Business Insider and Verywell Mind, alongside other publications.
I have also appeared as a guest on podcasts discussing psychology, confidence, relationships, people-pleasing and personal development.
Business Insider Sibling dynamics and behaviours in narcissistic families Read the article →
VeryWellMind Personality development Read the article →
Forbes 3 hardest interview questions you’ll need to answer to land your next job Read the article →
Forbes 10 ChatGPT prompts productive entrepreneurs use daily Read the article →
Daily Mail How Christina Haack’s third divorce forced her to confront anxious-attachment style and co-dependency issues Read the article →
Founder Reports How entrepreneurs can conquer imposter syndrome Read the article →
Newsweek What makes a relationship last Read the article →
Podcast Appearances
The Nope Coach The Invisible Rules Behind People Pleasing Listen now →
Orion’s World Breaking the people-pleasing trap Listen now →
Entrepreneurial Journey (Tricres) Building an online therapy and coaching practice Listen now →
Willow Healing Matters Building self-trust and intuition Listen now →
Building Confidence Podcast Understanding people-pleasing and how to stop Listen now →
Book
The Feel Good Journal A CBT guided journal to challenge negative thinking, increase resilience, and discover what truly matters to you — co-authored with Ioana Rotaru. View on Amazon →
My academic and professional training spans psychology, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), psychodynamic theory and coaching, giving me an integrative understanding of how thoughts, emotions, relationships and behavioural patterns shape the way we experience ourselves and others.
Bachelor’s Degree in Psychological Sciences
University of Naples Federico II, Italy
MA in Psychodynamic Theory
Brunel University London, UK
Postgraduate Diploma (PgDip) in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy
University of Hertfordshire, UK
Certificate in Life, Sport & Business Coaching
Prometeo Coaching
MSc in Clinical Psychology
eCampus University, Italy
My multidisciplinary training allows me to combine evidence-based psychological approaches with practical strategies for helping clients understand and change patterns of people-pleasing, low self-worth, overthinking and difficulties with boundaries.
Areas I Specialise In
My work focuses particularly on:
- People-pleasing and self-abandonment
- Difficulty setting and maintaining boundaries
- Low self-esteem and self-worth
- Fear of rejection or disapproval
- Overthinking and excessive reassurance-seeking
- Assertiveness and communication
- Relationship patterns
- Anxiety around conflict
- Perfectionism and excessive responsibility
- Confidence and self-trust
These patterns frequently overlap. Someone who struggles to say no may also overthink how others perceive them, avoid difficult conversations, suppress anger or resentment, and rely heavily on external validation.
For this reason, I focus on the wider pattern rather than treating each difficulty as an isolated problem.
Work With Me
If you recognise yourself in these patterns, you don’t need to wait until people-pleasing has completely taken over your relationships, career or sense of self before working on it.
I offer online therapy and confidence coaching for people who want to understand their patterns, build healthier boundaries and become more confident expressing who they are and what they need.
The work is practical, collaborative and tailored to you.
A Note About the Content on This Website
The psychological information I publish on LuCole.com is intended for education and general information. It does not replace individual psychological assessment, diagnosis, medical advice or treatment from an appropriately qualified healthcare professional.
Where articles discuss psychological research, therapeutic approaches or mental health, I aim to distinguish between established evidence, professional interpretation and personal experience, and to reference reputable sources where appropriate.
